Total Strength & Performance

How your goals may be killing you...

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What if I told you that accomplishing a goal may not be what it’s cracked up to be? What would you say? More than likely you will think that I am crazy. Yes, this thought goes against hundreds of years of people telling us how important it is to accomplish the goals you have set. Let’s be honest right now for a moment. Ask yourself how many goals have you accomplished that you actually took the time to set? I would say that we have failed at accomplishing goals much more than attaining them and anyone that says they accomplish every goal they set is lying. Our society is filled with self-help gurus telling us the importance of setting goals and attaining them but many of them don't talk about the dark side of not. Even I have written and spoken about goal setting and its importance. I am not saying that setting goals is bad but the light has gone off in my head as I continually watch people including myself fail at attaining goals that they have set. Many times it's not because of effort or that we just made the goal impossible to attain rather it's just not reaching what we set out to do.


Goal setting can lead to a person having anxiety and ultimately becoming depressed. Obviously this is not what setting goals should do but it is a truth. I have failed at many goals in my life. Some of those times have been the darkest moments in my life. During those times I felt as though I was in a race and everyone around me was sprinting on  while I was trudging along in mud. I felt the weight of the world on my shoulders and I could never really free my mind. Those have been some of the toughest times and yes it still happens at times as the anxiety and depression creeps its way in because of the lack of attaining a goal. With the onset of anxiety one very important thing disappears, the fun. Once the fun of achieving a goal vanishes so does the actual achievement. I have also seen it with others to the point where an activity they once loved became something they despised. They became so frustrated with the goal that they stopped having fun. The smiles disappeared and the motivation to achieve the goal went right out the window. All of this because of a goal that was set was never attained.


I have a new secret weapon in the war against goals. It's called the Pause Button. What if I told you that it was ok to hit the Pause Button on your goals? Hitting pause could be a game changer in the world of achieving goals. What does hitting pause do? First, it allows us to take a step back and detach ourselves from the goal and the situation. This will allow us to take a look at the goal with an outsider's point of view. Doing this will let us see mistakes we may have not caught before. It also allows many times to come up with a different strategy to achieve the goal. Second, hitting the pause button allows us to take a recovery period from the goal. It becomes almost like a vacation from the goal. It lets us refresh ourselves and gain some energy back from the daily grind. Third, when we take a break from our goal we can also reassess what we are doing. Sometimes what we originally thought was a goal changes. It’s ok to change our goals. Our mindset changes over time so why would it be different with the goals that we set. If the goal we set is not what we want currently then why go for it. This will only waste your time and make you even more frustrated.


While we are in the freeze we learn how to do the most important thing, have fun again.  I suggest not to start attacking the goal until you are having fun with it again. Trying to reach a goal and not having fun just becomes another job and really who needs one of those.Once fun is attained again then it's time to do one more thing. That is set your mind to just improving not attaining. Small improvements over time gets you one step closer to the goal without even telling your mind you are going for it. We are always seeking instant gratification. We want to accomplish the things we set out to do as fast as possible. We should be thinking about the long game rather than the short. There is no rush. The object is to keep a nice steady pace towards our goal. Take your time and remember it is ok to take a break once in awhile who knows it may get you there faster.

Read 278 times Last modified on Thursday, 27 July 2017 22:38
Rob DeCillis

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